This happens almost all the time, thus the abandoned blog. I'm just going to honest here, that I always struggle to find anything positive about my day, my week, and my current foreseeable life. People might say that one is a confident person, he/she knows what he/she wants and such but the truth is, everyone finds it hard to consistently keep a positive mind about their lives.
That includes me. Especially when I start comparing myself with others after seeing their perfect instagram photos. Then i'd remind myself that God, those are intentionally filtered to seen PERFECT! It's okay if you don't wear heels or having the handle of an LV bag on your shoulder knowing that your newborn would puke or your preschoolers always drool on it, who says you must? It's totally fine to be wearing the same clothes that need no ironing over and over again because even the billionaires do that.
That said, comparing isn't always bad, sometimes you need it as a boost to feel content about your life. Whenever I feel like leaving behind my kids (yes those thoughts really grow up in my head and I cant seem to be able to get it off) and giving up with motherhood, I'd watch youtube in search of inspiration and hope. In fact, I have been watching it almost every night before going to bed. I'd type "autistic children" or "disabled children" and I have also subscribed the Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN) and Daphne Iking channels because they are among the ones that portray the REALITIES in life.
Seeing them juggling with life shed my tears at times and it reminds me that I should be grateful with what I have although I may not always be happy with it. Those parents of children with mental disabilities where some are born with schizophrenia (I have been watching clips about Jani and Bodhi : born schizophrenic), as well as physical illness; eczema, gluten intolerance, Epidermolysis Bullosa (a severe condition of blistered skin) and all other illnesses that you can't imagine yourself handling are my motivation to keep me going.
If I am tired, they must have been even more exhausted. If I feel like I have missed out a lot of things out there, they must have missed out even more. If I whine about taking care of my sometimes-only-got-fever kids, I am verily an ungrateful servant of Allah because those parents deal with their seriously ill children every single day. To those parents, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Come on yana! Bersyukurlah!
She got herself into trouble and IBU has to get her out of it